The Work: Noticing me.

Thought: I want more people to notice me.

1. Is it true?
Yes

2. Can you absolutely know that its true; "I want more people to notice me"?
No

3. How do you react, what happens when you believe that thought?
I feel: lonely, useless, stupid, uncared for, lost, scared, hopeless...
I think of: pyschs not helping, friends ignoring me, people not
caring what I have to say.
addictions: obsessively checking if they "noticed me" on blogs,
can't get off the computer.
act to others: I disregard when they do notice me because they are just
one person. Or I overly notice... (obsessive rereading).
when did you first begin thinking this thought: probably 4th or before...
When I noticed that I couldn't/wouldn't speak in certain circumstances. Felt friendless. :\

4. Who would you be without the thought?
I would act as myself and not act only in dire attempt to get people to notice me.I would be peaceful. I would feel light. appreciative. attentive. more loving.Less self-absorbed--more outwardly thinking. I'd realize people do NOTICE me.

Turn the thought around: I want to notice others.
Examples on how that's true:
1. It's fun to know the details of others lives
2. In order to give them advice
3. In order to show them that I love them
4. In order to learn something myself

Turn it around: I want to notice my "bad" thoughts.
1. In order to catch them before they grow.
2. In order to use inquiry to check their legitimacy
3. In order to share my inquiry with others and help them.

Turn it around: I don't want to be noticed by more people.
1. I want God to be whom people seek. Not me.
2. I'd rather be loved.
3. I don't NEED more anything. Thankful for friends I already have. <3
4. I'd rather people behave as they are. Not notice me when they aren't meant to.

You are so.. beautiful to me! (post-it)

All of them are written and posted in a bathroom by me over time, the first one is inspired by http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHeyXfN4AMQ

Reunited and it Feels so Good

I wrote this November 17 on a different blog... I just think it was one of my better posts so I should share it here, too:
So a lovely girl named Angela helped me retrieve my Bible. Thank you.
sadly, now I can’t find my keys (or rather, key). this is a bother. :( I checked the library and they didn’t have it. Did I possibly leave it in your class?
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
9 And He said to me “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weekness” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecution, in distresses for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

A very great gift that God gives you is your weakness. It’s what keeps us from puffing up, prideful, and is the means of the power of Christ remaining in you.

Which made me think, (I have thought of this before though) maybe if I was NOT shy, I might have gotten friends (too many and the wrong kind) and got lost from God . Without this shyness I might not relate to some people who also hurt. I might not care to help at all. I might not feel the same huge feeling of “I totally want to hug you!” Or I might be the goody-goody type that is deluded into their own prideful awesomeness and nobody really likes…< because they think they’re better than everyone
So with shyness, or with whatever hardship I suffer, it means God’s still with me, and I might realize that Jesus loves me— whatever I’m losing doesn’t matter… His grace is enough for me. and duh, whatever suffering and pressures I feel here will go away if I end up in that place of ETERNAL HAPPINESS. :)

Nightmare

I had a nightmare of my dad coming in my face and screaming at me. Sucks. It took focusing on a halls cough drop, abdominal breathing, and praying to get me to relax. Though, that was pretty cool. I love when I take care of myself and go into "mommy" mode.

V

is the best ever. lol.

still crazy

Oh.
I'm absolutely insane.
Let me say random extreme things, I'm not feeling well.
I find them funny so it helps.
Gah, test anxiety? what is this crap. :(
Enya... (it's on my Pandora at the moment...hmm..)
Enya isn't really extreme... somewhat random though.
>:( grr...
*punches things in imagination*
Okay, this is just nonsense venting...
I'm going to pwn you, tomorrow, Brit Lit test!

FreedomFromSA

Thank you! :) YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG!!
I hope you have a fabulous day. :)
I think you should watch this (and anyone else should too):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C2o0jHNRuU