Bloody Messes

Just a note: I am freshly hurt from something traumatizing (I think I could be strangled and beaten in a dark ally and still feel oddly unworthy of the word "traumatic"). I've shared what happened with two people, and I reserve the right to at this moment not tell people what happened. So, just saying: I'm not telling you.

Tonight I was thinking back on a "scar story" I told in Creative Drama:

When I was little, like 7 or so, I was at the park and I was chasing my sister because we were playing tag. I ran and was focusing my energy on being fast and catching her. But I wasn't looking down at all. There was a step down and I fell on my knee. It wasn't just a scraping-- it hurt bad and it was kinda gushing. Days following that I wouldn't bend it 'cause it hurt to bend. My family kinda made fun of me saying I was over doing it by limping and stuff. I went to the family practitioner type doctor and he said that I had to start bending it; it was bad to keep it still like that. So I did, first couple nights maybe like 3 times. Then it gradually got better. I still have a scar but my leg is fully functioning.

So, I was just hurt. In figurative terms, I'm still a bloody mess on the ground--perhaps gently gliding my hands to find support and soon start lifting. But when it comes to it, figuratively, when I get back up I need to face some of the fears that have arisen from this-- I need to bend my knee. Bending your knee is healing your hurt, it's getting back to life, it's facing hard things (like pain) but making yourself anew, recognizing the pain and putting yourself forward. I'm not too ready for knee bending, again still on the ground. But I feel hopeful of that time.

If you feel hurt, I encourage you to gently glide your hands and get support to start your journey. Then I really hope you don't leave your leg all straight and messed up. Please don't accommodate/bury the pain of your "knee" with drinking, dieting poorly (both ways), too much sleep, addictive behavior, isolating yourself, risky behavior. Because you'll keep it "straight" and unhealed that way. Bend it. It's going to hurt (maybe like crazy) but it's the BEST thing for you.

Right now I'm just going to accept that I'm not okay. Okay? I'm going to let all the emotions flow. The good, the bad, and the down right ugly. I'm going to keep going. Understanding myself and pushing myself. Finding the balance....

 Please pray for me. For healing, strength, wisdom, little joys...

Thank you

Thankfulness.

I'm thankful...
-For an apartment and not a dorm!
-For an apartment-mate that cooks tasty meals sometimes for me (real Chinese, legit stuff)
-For healthier choices (No more Panda Express, lol!)
-For fun classes! Favorite= Creative Drama. We play lots of games... :)
-For the possibility, though I may not be in any type of treatment/whatnot, that I could get better.
-Because my dad got me a hula hoop last weekend (the kind with water in it that makes it easier)
-Because I have a computer and can blog.
-Because despite my negative beliefs- I belong in each of my classes, dangit!
-Because youtube had the movie I wanted to watch. :P
-For the opportunities I have.
-For the people that read this silly/not always updated blog.
-Because that train that goes "chooo choo" at night--- doesn't bother me.
-Because TV dinners can be cooked in the oven if your microwave is broken.
-For my "miracle friends" (those random people you have this ability to freely talk to).
-For my story that I made up when I was young. (makes remembering it easier for my storytelling project).
-Because of Jesus; even  though I do a whole lot of bad-- you forgive me and you DIED for me.
-For fingernail polish that gets complimented on even though its been chipped for days.

SHARING my first lesson plan

Grade level: Kindergarten

The Sharing Song (Excerpt)

By Melissa Verhoff

(To the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat)

It’s always more fun
To share with everyone

Toys, goodies and cookies

Let’s share till the day is done

School is the perfect place

To share with all your pals

Lunch, recess, free time

Share in those places, you shall

                                               

Source: http://www.uwosh.edu/faculty_staff/lethco/pbsongs_s06t.pdf

Social Skills Objective:
Students will learn what sharing is and learn to share with others.

Music Objective
The student will demonstrate tempo changes by singing a song in a slow tempo and again in a faster tempo. The student will understand the difference between slow and fast tempos.

Materials
Sharing, cookies, goodies, and toys posters; each student brings a toy to class; bowls and 3D glasses without lenses (optional).

Procedure

Anticipatory Set
Show the short video “Sharing” by notebookbabies (source:http://www.youtube.com/user/notebookbabies#p/u/4/fmR-BBj3U1M). The boy likes his toy robot so much that he does not want to let others play with it. When he doesn’t share, the robot addresses his worries about sharing and encourages the boy to share. When he finally shares with another boy, the other boy goes and grabs his toy robot to share.

Have students face their chairs to the projector. If you want to add to the experience you could put them in role as movie theatergoers. Give them bowls to pretend to eat popcorn from, and 3D glasses without lenses.  Encourage them to stay quiet (and not to chew too loudly on their pretend popcorn!) so they can listen to the “movie.”

State the Objectives
The teacher will tell the students that they will be learning about sharing and they will learn to share with their classmates. Also, students will experience singing at different speeds.

Teacher Input
The teacher will list the examples of things you could share that are in the piggyback song. The teacher will also explain that sharing is letting others play with your toys or eat some of your snacks and show them a poster with the word “sharing” above a picture of child sharing their toy with another child.  Tell them its okay to have your turn with your toy but to share you give others turns if they ask. Tell them, if they are worried about them breaking their toy, to politely tell others to be gentle with your toy because you like it a lot. Tell them to share goodies and cookies, they don’t have to give them your entire treat, just give a portion of what they have.  Also, it’s important to say “thank you” if someone shares with you. 

Teacher will also explain how songs can be sung fast or slowly. Speed in music is called tempo.

Modeling
The teacher will sing “The Sharing Song” and show the steady beat by moving his or her arms back and forth in front of him or her. Encourage them to mirror you. He or she will first sing at a slow tempo, and then at a faster tempo. After the first time it is sung, he or she will point to their “sharing,” “toys,” “goodies,” and “cookies” posters at the appropriate times. He or she will teach the song to the students by rote.

Check for Understanding
Sing a song and ask them to describe your tempo. Have them put one finger under their chin for “slow” and two fingers under their chin for “fast.”

Guided Practice
The class will sing “The Sharing Song” together. They will also demonstrate the tempo of the song by how fast their hands move back and forth. Encourage them to sing at faster tempos by saying “faster tempo.”

Independent Performance
Students will be separated into small groups. They will share the toy they brought with their group members one at a time by passing it around. Encourage them to say, “thank you” and “you are welcome.”

Review/Closure
Students will sing the song again. Have the students sing the song faster and faster.

Visual Aid(s): Posters
Sharing poster, a goodies poster (with healthy snacks), toys poster, and a cookies poster.

 to view other posters (click): Toys poster, Goodies poster, Cookies poster